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June 26th, 2012

(no subject) @ 10:13 pm

I am writing this to prove my journal isn't totally dead and I have not been eaten by Russian-language spambots.

November 9th, 2011

(no subject) @ 11:18 pm

I love you all dearly and people in general, but I'm going to lose my shit if one more person says "Yeah, Friday is some kind of holiday?"

...It's kind of like when your best friend forgets your birthday. Thanks America, I love you too.

October 16th, 2011

(no subject) @ 03:50 pm

I'm turning into a raving lunatic. People and their idiocy just burns. I haven't felt like this in ... 10 years? I think I need to put net nanny on my own social network sites.

October 6th, 2011

Fun time with Crypt Keeper @ 05:27 pm

So, I've really been hitting up the VA for health care lately and taking care of a lot of things that needed attention.

Including my weight.

They offer a "healthy weight loss" class for veterans. You are allowed to bring a guest. The focus is on healthy living and not "a diet." So far, so good. They've done great by me so far, so I give this a shot although part of me is dreading the same regurgitated advice I've been hearing for years. You never know though, right?

It was worse than I could possibly have imagined.Collapse )

No comment, Nurse Death Head.

July 21st, 2011

(no subject) @ 11:28 pm

You know the thing I fucking love about English? There are enough words to say almost EXACTLY what you mean, thus eliminating the need to jump down other people's throats for not understanding you. Not that that was ever necessary.

May 14th, 2011

Cover your eyes if cursing offends you. @ 08:37 pm

Plenty of people chose not to swear. Good for them. I only care when they say some judgmental bullshit about how this makes them a better person than me and then act all feigned innocent when they stir up a shit storm.

Beg your pardon, poop storm.

I've heard the hackneyed cliche many times that cursing is the refuge of unimaginative people with no better way to express themselves. Oh REALLY?

I say, why is using the word with a latinate root that means the same thing morally superior to using the germanic or anglo-saxon word? Why would God, for example, who is arguably responsible for all human languages, have a preference in this matter? Unless you assume God is white and speaks English, or you conflate the tradition of church-goers with actual doctrine.

Does it take discipline to remove powerful words from your vocabulary? Sure. Is that a spiritual discipline? As much as refusing to eat potatoes, or chocolate, or coffee for 40 days out of the calendar year. Words have meaning because we agree that they do, not because God with his almighty Bic pen created the English language and then set some words aside as naughty. If we arbitrarily designate germanic-sounding words with hard consonants as "bad words" and stop using them, will that stop us from offending other people or saying or thinking hurtful things? No, of course it won't.

It does take a more powerful imagination than my own to believe censoring 10-20 words in the English language is a valuable contribution to world peace, or to equate expressing pain and frustration with a hearty "Damnit!" with beating a child or killing other people. So maybe, in the end, I lack imagination. But I do get to say what I damn well please and fucking mean it.

February 18th, 2011

(no subject) @ 12:27 am

I realized tonight that I can recall the exact moment I became a feminist. I was in 5th grade, trying out for Odyssey of the Mind (a gifted after-school program) and I came up with an effortless solution to their problem. The other parents accused me of cheating because I 100% solved the problem when most of their boys did not. When the judges clarified that I didn't break the rules, several insisted my *dad* must have come up with the solution for me. No one hassled the one boy who also scored 100%. It suddenly occurred to me that it was okay with them for a boy to beat their son at this (especially since he used a similar solution to the problem), but not okay for a girl to score so much better with something their sons didn't imagine. It was just something about the way they fussed about me getting in even though I clearly owned the competition.

February 1st, 2011

(no subject) @ 05:32 pm

So irritated by the past right now. The super weird, impossible to diagnose and agonizingly painful condition that Tony suffered from for years? Patellofemoral stress syndrome. You know, that rare condition known as RUNNER'S KNEE. Plz to be explaining how a military doctor would not know about a common condition called RUNNER'S KNEE?

November 23rd, 2010

Why not now? @ 10:23 am

So here is what is in my heart. I have been deeply moved by many of the videos in the "It Gets Better" project. I've never been gay and in public school, but I have been a victim of bullying in the public school system and it totally did "get better" as soon as I got out of public school.

I believed so powerfully that it would "get better" outside of public school that I skipped high school completely and moved across the country to go to college at age 13 with other gifted young women because I saw just the possibility of being friends with my peers. A hope and a prayer, that's what I had... and also, the conviction that I would not survive four more years of public school.

Why did I think this?

Because for 4 long weeks in my 6th grade year, I came home every night after crying no less than 11 times during each day (I counted for days but soon I was crying too much to keep track) and went to the kitchen. I went there to stare at the knife set on the counter and decide if I had the courage to take my own life and end the suffering. Eventually I would decide it would hurt too much and go rifling through the cupboards, looking for love and acceptance wrapped in tin foil. I gained over 30 pounds each year I stayed in that school system until I weighed in at 197 at age 13. Being 90 pounds overweight didn't end the bullying, but regular doses of sugar kept my brain awash in enough seratonin and dopamine to function. I'm lucky that my parents didn't drink or smoke cigarettes, because I probably would have picked those up too.

A lot of people ask where my parents were in all of this. The answer, honestly, is lost. They called the school, they talked to my teachers, and they even called the parents of two of my worst bullies directly. The school and teachers were sympathetic but powerless to stop what went on behind their backs. The parents of the girls who bullied me on the bus? They told my mom they were proud of their children and if I was getting made fun of, I deserved it.

At that point I made a decision that saved my life - I would not give my bullies the "pleasure" of winning. I saw killing myself as a win for them, as if 11 and 12 year old girls really wanted me to kill myself. I have no idea what they wanted or why I was such a target to this day, but I do know this:

It is complete and total bullshit that a nation of adults can look at school bullying and decide that light at the end of a 13 year tunnel is the best we can offer our children.

Childhood obesity and curriculum reform are things that concern me, but I can't imagine that we can "fix" those things but ignore the fundamental truth that children are not emotionally and physically safe in our schools. End school bullying for all children, and I guarantee we will see an explosion of creativity and innovation in every other area impacting the health and education of our children.

Who is with me?

August 26th, 2010

Um, no? @ 06:51 pm

Say what?

I disagree with this, and I seldom find myself in complete disagreement with Penny Arcade. Penny Arcade is stating that anyone who buys a game used isn't a customer of the game company. Not for that particular purchase, I will grant.

However, I consider myself to be a customer of EA Games (for example), even though I buy about 40% of the EA products I own used.

While I might not buy a particular title new, they are impacting me *as a customer* insomuch as I may choose not to buy future releases if they are particularly rude to the secondary market. If you really think resale is no better than theft, you should switch to digital distribution and be done with it. (Duh!)

A lot of the comments are about financial reality, the impact to game companies... has it occurred to anyone that when I buy a used game during a dry patch, I'm using it to decide if I want to buy new games from that company once I have the means? New games run $40-$60... that's a lot to spend even if you CAN get a satisfaction return. That's a tank of gas and a few days of groceries. In the same way that libraries haven't put book stores out of business, the used game market isn't necessarily about buying new versus used. It's buying used versus buying AT ALL.

Second, buying used implies that the game was already purchased new one time. It isn't the same as, say, piracy, where one purchase could equal a few thousand freeloaders. I'm not freeloading when I buy a used game any more than I put Gap out of business when I shop at a consignment store.

Do I think game companies deserve recompense? Absolutely. Do I believe the used game market is crippling them? Um, no. If I can dig up the correct url I will link to one of the most eloquent blogs I've ever read on art and money. In short, you "deserve" to be paid for the product of your artistic labor insomuch as you are commissioned to a specific purpose. If you make something independent of an established desire by other human beings, you take the risk on yourself. If your primary market is drying up, but the secondary market is strong, it means the people who will buy your product won't pay as much as you've been pricing it for... not that they are criminals. This is basic economics.

All wisdom is plagiarism

Everything else is studipity